Going Home

I'm so excited, I"m going to be going on a road trip soon. Gonna go see my moms on the other side of the country.
I'm gonna drive 1700 miles each way...so much road to travel, so much time to think about everything in Ky....

she's in Ky

....trying to tell myself I don't want to see her while I plan how to look her up....knowing I can't have her, shouldn't want her...yet I'd love to fuck her once again.......a grunge fuck to show her what she's missin, I've got some new moves to show her!!!

She was my first adult attemt to follow what had always been in my heart. I looked at her and my clit started ticking, my stomach rolling...she literally made my knees weak. After work we would talk all night, layin in each others arms sittin at the boat dock lookin up at the stars, the only two in the world and the stars played a concert just for us. We were literally secret lovers, nobody could know, we could never let it show........Crazy bitch, do you really think everybody didn't know? How many "roommates" do u know that live, work, and constantly hang out every minute of every day? Anyway.....I gave you my heart and you gave me what I wanted to hear, what I wanted to have, at least until I bought my car in your name and my paychecks in your account that you were supposed to add my name to....I trusted you.

Ummm, fuck her.....yeah...Fuck Her!! She was my first and in 8 mos nearly drove myself insane trying to read her, love her, survive her, be what she wanted me to be....begged her not to leave me on a monthly basis. I couldn't tell you logically why I tried to keep her. Damn I'm still so mad after OMG.. 7 yrs....it's been 7 yrs? I don't think about her on a daily basis, but thinking bout her now makes me remember things that hurt so much then....but I realize I've moved on....yeah, shit still pisses me off about what and how stuff went down....but the anger doesn't feel the same now as it did then, does that make sense?

So....I guess I have grown a little....hmmm